This is the boys and Steve on the way out to Utah and their first snow...

Four years ago to the day (well on the same weekend), Chad and I started an "adventure" if you must, but defiantly a change for us in our lives. We flew out to CA and rented a Black Tahoe (the vehicle that I have wanted since they came out with them). We visited with our family and then went and picked up Steve and the boys, Jimmy 3 years and 11 months and Chris 1 year and 2 weeks old. Chad and I knew that our lives where going to change and that there would be good and hard times ahead for us. Boy did we not know just how much. We also talked about the fact that it might be a 5 year commitment that we would be making, of course not sure what that might mean to us. There have been some really good times and some really tough times for all of us.

Steve took a chance to come out here and give his boys and himself a new start in life. That is what we offered him, a chance to get out of a really bad and hard situation. He left his life behind packed what he and the boys had and came home with us. We were able to fit everything they owned (minus a bike and 2 dressers) into and on top of the Tahoe. If you've ever seen the back of a Tahoe you know that isn't very much room. He had a really hard time adjusting to life here in Utah, no beach, SNOW. COLD, being away from friends, starting all over, getting a divorce, caring for his young boys, SNOW, COLD (he is a warm blooded kid 70* is cold for him), trying to "fit in", tying to live with his big Sis and her husband (they have a love - hate relationship) This is just a start of many I'm sure, but Steve is resilient and has come out of it well. He has a "carefree" attitude about life, which drives me CRAZY, but has served him well in his life and probably helped him a great deal over the past 4 years. Now he is engaged again and starting to embark on a new adventure in his life. He has moved out (November 14th…I haven't been able to write about it till now, just wasn't ready to yet) and in with his fiancé, (his sisters approve of her greatly!!) with the boys. They will be married sometime in the late Summer.

Chad was not use to having to share his life with anyone, let alone someone that wasn't his spouse. He had never spent much time around children, boy has he come a long way!! He had a hard time "dealing" with Steve and his differences. They have had some good times (I have proof in pictures), and some VERY TOUGH AND ROUGH TIMES. I think that Chad has had some of the hardest challenges to deal with over the past 4 years probably due to his lack of ability to deal with anger, depression, his health problems, and his dislike to change (to just name a few) . As he would say... he could no longer walk through the house naked… not that he ever does, just liked the ability to do so if he should choose to.

We have had some very difficult times over the past 4 years, for many reasons… but through it all and now at the end of that part of our journey, we have learned how to work things through together!! We have learned to depend on each other, to support each other, to communicate with each other (well we are still working on learning that one better). We have learned that we could make good parents, that we have the ability to help others, and love and care for someone else's children. There have been many other things that we have learned from and grown from. The past two years have been very difficult ones for us (even outside of our living situation). Many challenges that I hope we NEVER have to repeat. We aren't all the way through it, one more big one that hopefully will be over very soon. Even through it all I don't know if I would change much, well wish we wouldn't have had to go through it, but we are different people now on the other side of it all, a different couple, a different marriage, and a new life pathway that we are excited to embark on.

Jimmy and Chris have been through a great deal in their short lives. They are embracing this new chapter in their lives. It is a little confusing for Chris still, but they are young and resilient (don't we all wish we could be like children). They get to be with us after school everyday and Chris before school as well. I think that this is helping them as well as us. Chris is excited to have someone to call mom and not get in trouble for doing so. Jimmy is happy but still not talking a lot about it yet, except to say that he is glad that Heavenly Father answered his prayers and that they didn't move to Hawaii like dad wanted to this summer (I must say so is Aunt Tammy!!!!!!). They both love Cheyenne and being with her, I love that they have her she is going to be so good for them!! Time will heal all things, and together we will be strong and happy.

As for me, my life has ever been changed. I love my husband and I'm so glad that we have been able to work through all of this and be stronger now than ever before. I think that we are stubborn enough that without these challenges we would have never chosen to make the changes in our lives that we so need to. I love my family more than I can ever express. We have been through a lot together, and I am the eldest of us now. I made a promise to keep our family together and I intend on keeping that promise. With that said, I love Steve and we DEFIANTLY struggled, and still do. We had some really hard times, but tried to always remember that we are family and all we have. There were some good times as well, but this was a good move for us so that we can work on being brother and sister again instead of being at each other all the time. I was afraid that we would loose sight of what really mattered, because we were to busy being upset and frustrated with each other. Now we can mend things and enjoy being family again and I love that I'm going to have a sister here close to me!! I look forward to our future together!! And then the boys…. What can I say except they have changed my life!!! They filed my heart and filled a very empty whole in my life. I thought that I was going to be ok excepting that I was not going to be a mother, I learned that no in fact I would like to be a mother… I have so much that I would like to give back. I will be forever grateful to the boys for giving me that joy in my life and for sparking my motherhood instincts.

I hope that they will always know how I feel about them and just how special they are to me and Uncle Chad. They will always have a very special place in my life and heart. I have given them a part of my heart that they will have forever!! And now I can spoil them as any special Auntie would love to do!! I hope that they will always want to be apart of our lives as much as we want them to be apart of ours and we apart of theirs.

This is the boys and Steve now...

Post 3 of 11

I thought that it was fitting to get this one posted now, seeing that it's snowing and we can't play outside again. I have tried over the winter to think of different things that I could do with the boys. You know the ol’ cabin fever thing. We’ve done a few things, not as many I had hoped for, but we had a couple of really fun ones that was a lot of fun for all.

One was an idea my friend Stacie told me about, an indoor picnic… I loved the idea so here is what I did… I made pizza pockets, apple pies with my sandwich maker… yumm-o… packed that, drinks, and new movies (I’d had them for a while but forgot about them). We went downstairs put down a blanket had our picnic while watching 101 Dalmatians . It was a great “family day” as we like to call them.

The other favorite that has happened a few times are the ever famous blanket tents!!!... This is just one of the many creations that have developed here. :) as you can see the “whole family got into the action and had a blast with this one!!

I have eight posts that I have started and have saved in drafts so I didn’t forget to write about them. My memory hasn’t been so good lately due to some medical reasons, which I’m working on. So I decided even if some of them are old I want to finish them, something about accomplishing something you’ve set out to do and the way it makes you feel.

FIRST OF EIGHT:
So in January the topic at Joy School was Goals and goal setting. Chris decided on his own that he wanted to learn my phone number (I gave him several ideas). He has been working on it very hard and is getting it. A little slower than he was suppose to, his goal is suppose to be done, but he’s still working on it and I give him props for that. After all he did pick something challenging and I’m proud of him for that.

Well from this experience we have started Charts for both boys and they are loving it!!..

We started back in November with Chris and having a “good boy” chart. He picked that he wanted to go to Chucke Cheese’s. So he had to get 50 stickers on his chart in order to get his trip and he got to invite 1 friend to go with him, he choose immediately that it would be Jimmy, what great brothers they are!! He couldn’t have any whining or fits, be good at school and primary, and take rest time with out issues. Those were the main criteria that he had to follow to get his stickers. I’m so amazed at how well it worked and seems that it is still having real positive affects for all of us. I’m happy to say he filled his chart!!! On January 24th (a few weeks latter) we made our trip to Chucke Cheese. We had a blast, played and made it all about Chris and his day!!.. we all thanked him for being so good so that we could have a fun day together. He’s like a totally different kid right now.

**ops a totally 80's moment...lol I'm leaving it just for that reason... lol

(you should see how many times I read, re-read, and edit my posts to get them to what I think is right)

Before our trip, but after he had finished his chart, he and I had a really bad breakfast experience. He is a VERY messy eater, and after our fourth clean up in one meal I had had enough!! So I found on one of my sites that I have referred too in the past, a chart maker!!! YEAH FOR THE INTERNET!!! (of course the family friendly kind) His reward was to be able to go get an ice cream with me, just the two of us. He did it!! We went out for our ice cream, and there wasn't even a mess!!! Yeah!!! Meals are SO much better, even enjoyable!!

Well we started something because Jimmy then wanted a chart so he did a reading chart, he’s still working on his. Here are the chart subjects we are now all working on, and they wanted more, I had to draw the line though. They are doing so good at them and so excited to put their stickers up, that they got to pick out themselves.

POSITIVE reinforcement the ONLY way to go!!... ok the best…I’m NOT perfect in anyway!!

1. Jimmy: Reading Chart (still) Chris: Learning Chart 10 min intervals (abc’s, numbers, and phone number)

2. Brushing Teeth for both of them; 3 opportunities a day for 3 weeks. 20 days to establish a habit!! :)
*Reward for these they can pick; go to the Chocolate Store (Sees or something of the sort) and pick out any treat they want, go out for ice cream, or go to the store and pick out a toy (not the dollar store).

3. Chores for both of them: Making their bed, Dirty clothes put away, and Putting all the toys away before bedtime.
*They get an allowance for getting stickers on this one, but they can’t miss more than 5 stickers each week. They can get anything from $0-$2.00 for the week depending on how many they get.

They are SO EXCITED!!! It’s so great to see them working for their stickers. They get something done and then come running to me to let me know and/or inspect (even their teeth).

They make me smile EVERYDAY!!

Well not much happened here with us this week, just getting back in the routine of life. Can you believe that it’s already the 11th of the month? Crazy quick already. I’m looking forward to this next week. I have some goals that I plan on taking action on this week, I’ll report at the end of the week. Hopefully I make some headway with them and have something to share. In the mean time I hope that you enjoy the pictures and have a great week yourselves!!

Jimmy, Uncle Chad, and Dad made a snow fort together.

Chris is completely into super heroes,

it changes day to day who the favorite is, but this was a

Superman moment.

I love my Friend Debi’s last post; she got all her Holiday break in one post, so I’m going to copy her idea. Here is our December all wrapped up in a pretty bow (I hope).

We started out by chilling.

Chris got these books for his Birthday and he Loves them!

Kind of a long story, but we did try and get lights up before it snowed and here is the proof. We ended up with lights on the bushes around the house instead. It was too hard to get it finished after it snowed. There’s always next year :). Thanks Mom for the extra lights so that we have enough to go up!!

December 2nd was Mom’s Birthday and we went to Colorado to surprise her for her Birthday.
It was a quick trip, but a GREAT one!

The boys were so excited to go and surprise Grandma at the restaurant. They were giggling most of the trip there.
The thought still makes me smile.

Our newest addition to the Family, Sassy.
Grizz thinks that she is “her” Toy… lol

The Ward Christmas Dinner. The boys were AWESOME!!
and we really enjoyed ourselves.

The boys got to see one Santa’s helpers.

Joy School Christmas Program for their Families.

Each of the kids got a certificate for giving different kinds of service to their friends during the month.

Spending some special time together with friends.
We went to a neighbor’s house together. Each year they set up a huge Christmas Village upstairs and downstairs a huge display of nativities. It was amazing and all the kids were great and really enjoyed themselves.

Community Service with the Activity Girls at the Food Bank.
We stuffed about 650 stockings for the children of the families that were picking up food the week of Christmas.
(They are in the boxes behind us)

We had our first snow since October!
The boys LOVE the snow!!

Chris has to make a snow angel any time he can!!

The whole group got into the fun!

My purple tree :)
(but of course)

I finally unpacked my Christmas China after 3 years.

Christmas Eve Jammies!

Poor Jimmy has the flu :(
Treats were left for Santa and the Reindeer.
Santa left a note in return :) (He’s gone “high tech” now days)
Christmas morning smiles!!

Time to play and explore!!
How cool to be 4 and have your own laptop!!
Thank you Grandma!!
A new Photographer in the family!!

Thank you Grandma!!
Christmas Dinner!! Yummy!!
(a request for a repeat of Thanksgiving)
New Years morning with friends.

So that is December in a nut shell, just to name a few of the things that it was made up of…
Now it’s just been 3 days back to “normal” and I already remember how much I loved being on break with no “real” schedule, no taxi driving, no homework, no evening rush for dinner, bath, and bedtime; just time spent together as a family.
I guess that’s what it’s all about though, and why we have to remember, and try to make the “season” last all year long. That is one of my goals this year.

Why do we wait till the Holidays to tell others how we feel about them, to share a piece of ourselves with others, to go the “extra mile” to make sure that we spend time with family and see loved ones that we only see once a year? Is that really what God intended for us to do? I don’t think so. I believe that he intends for us to do these things regularly, the saying that we loose ourselves in the service of others is so true. Aren’t our lives better enriched once we learn this ever so important lesson? We keep so busy that we forget what really matters, including our own families. I hope to remember this everyday, and not take for granite any time I have with my family and to share myself with others. Time is too short and precious. Thank goodness that we do have this special time of year to “remember”. What a wise and loving Father to give us this opportunity every year to re-connect with our loved ones as well as the opportunity to “give” of ourselves to others, without it, think how empty our lives would be. Not having the opportunity to “re-fill the well”.

Thank you to all of you that have given to me and my family not only over the holidays but the entire year. Thank you for the special Christmas Angels that gave so willingly to our family. It will be “paid forward” I promise!! We have been shown so much love and tenderness from so many this year. Thank you for being our family and friends. Thank you for being a great example of CHRIST'S LOVE.

Wow can I remember back that far???... I know that it was a busy day from 7am till 11pm… just like everyone else. What I didn’t’ get a chance to post about I guess, was that Chris and I surprised Jimmy for lunch that afternoon (he thought that we were coming over after lunch) we stayed for the Halloween Parade and then the Class Party. Can I say I was dreading and “totally” nervous as could be in anticipation of what Chris’s behavior would be at the party, but he was AWESOME!!... Thanks to Mrs. Nuttell letting him play with the class toys, he went over to the corner and played all by himself quietly and never disturbed anyone!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!!..ANY of his Joy School Teachers wouldn’t… LOL!! But he did, and when the class was cleaning up he cleaned up the toys that he was playing with and put them away no mess, no fuss. He is always good at cleaning up, but I didn’t even have to ask him. I was so proud of him!! :) Mrs. Nuttell even sent him home a special treat on Monday because he did so good.

Ok so now I just have to get him to do that and behave that way at Joy School… not sure how I’m going to work that magic yet, but I’m trying!! To all my Joy School Mom’s: THANK YOU for your patience!! I can say that he is learning and can tell me what the teachers taught each day. He LOVES each of you very much!!

Jimmy's School Parade and class Party
Joy School Halloween Party
Church Halloween Carnival

WOW WHAT A HALLOWEEN SEASON FOR US!! And we SURVIVED!!

I’m not too sure of where to start on the week’s worth of blogging that I need to do…
I really like the way I’ve seen some do it in one big post, but I think that I’m going to start with tonight and then spread the rest out over the next couple of days. Besides its midnight Chad is home now, it’s been a long day and I have another ahead of me, Daddy Daughter Date Activity tomorrow evening that will be a big day of putting it all together :) I can’t wait we have all been looking forward to it for 2 months now.

So here is some of our trick or treating pictures from tonight. We had a blast and the boys loved, chose and insisted being the same/matching Theme. For my Family’s information it was them and not my doing.

*For those without boys, Chris was Darth Vader or Bader as he pronounces it, and Jimmy was a Clone Trooper....not Storm Trooper!
*Jimmy is a great Big Brother he loves helping Chris and including him with everything that he does. As you’ll see in my upcoming posts from today’s activities, he had him right there to take pictures together with his Teacher

...we went to her haunted house tonight...
*Neither one has much fear; the last picture is of Chris talking to Frankenstein. Where most were scared he was chatting up a storm with him. In that picture he was telling him and I quote “have fun scaring the kids”.

LOL ...LOVE that KID!!

Can you believe it it’s Halloween night!!... The boys and I have had ONE JAM PACKED DAY so far… it’s mandatory “rest time" for an hour of peace for all three of us… we still have to...

pick up Dad (Steve), do dinner, trick-or-treat, have a treat with our friends afterwards, and then scary movie time!!! (Casper)... WOW!!.. that is why Auntie wanted a nap but it seems that I am working against the sugar and have to moderate the “rest time” so I thought that I would take advantage of the moment and just jot a note down. I’ll be the one in the corner sleeping during the movie!!

I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT THERE IS ONLY 2 MONTHS LEFT OF 2008!!!... What a YEAR!!

LOL LOL LOL…. I just checked on the boys in the front room, I’m in the kitchen so that I could “moderate”… here is what I found!!!... wow what 6 min can do and change into!!....LOL LOL LOL

SWEET VICTORY IS MINE!!!

(and now I have a picture for the post... not planned)

Last Saturday the 11th was one of my best friends (Lindsay) little boys (Brennan) birthday. I was there with Lindsay and her family when little (not so little anymore) Brennan was born. Lindsay and I became friends while working at Dillard’s together. She was the first really close friend that I made after moving out to Utah. I feel like she is a sister to me. We have been through some really tough times along with the great times. It’s one of those friendships that has lasted through the weather of time.

The boys and I were on our way to the birthday party when Jimmy asked me if Lindsay and Brennan were family. I let him know that they were the closest of friends just like family, and he said yea I think they are family, Chris strongly agreed. I included some pictures of the boys before we left (little cheezers) along with some of the party. The first picture on the third row is of Brennan and Jimmy, mind you that Brennan is 15 days older than Chris and 3 years younger than Jimmy…. Can you say BASKET BALL STAR is written for his future…lol…

we love you Lindsay and Brennan.

Jimmy wasn’t feeling too well last week, and stayed home from school on Thursday and Friday. Well on Friday we had a good healthy lunch and then it was “Rest Time”. Neither one of them really wanted to lie down, but they wanted to “put” them selves down. I thought for sure I would find them playing, so I told them they had 5 minutes before I came down and checked on them. Low and behold this is what I found.

THE SWEETEST BOYS AROUND!!

They are such great boys!! They can always put a smile on my face no matter what the day has been like and

I can get all the hugs and kisses that I need :) :)

What more could anyone want!?!

ok so... Steve let me know that he isn't in the Blog very much...(like I am???)... so I found this one...This might explain why....LOL...

not really... I just mainly take pictures of the boys...isn't that what I'm suppose to do???...LOL ops :)

The others are just ones of the boys over this week just hanging out and being silly. The last ones are Jimmy showing off his new shoes.

That is Jimmy's "blankie" that Nana made...one of the last quilts that she made was his.... It is sentimental to many of us :)

Ok so I'm 10 days late on the post... I'm working on getting caught up on my posts (almost there)! Jimmy counted down most of the summer, he was so excited for school to start. We started at the door, the ever Tammy's calling card (the photo in the car before the special event), waiting for Principal Carter to open the doors, hanging up his back pack on his special hook, sitting at his spot that he picked out on Thursday at the Open House (there was a special box with supplies just for him waiting), sitting next to his "best friend" and listening to Principal Carter's announcement welcoming everyone back to school, to ....really Aunt Tammy... you can go NOW!

Now Chris... He was just as excited for Jimmy... He LOVES his big bother!! so I had to post his picture "following in his bather's footsteps" :)

Chris's ever favorite posse right now...He's quite proud of his "back side". He was on the stage in the gym/lunchroom as I was taking care of lunches for Jimmy.